“A school bus is a magic show full of disappearing acts.” – Jason Reynolds, “Look Both Ways”
In Washington D.C., you have to renew your driver’s license every eight years. Make sense. After all, driving a vehicle is essentially like wielding a large weapon. It is worthwhile to be reminded of the core principles but also to be updated on possible new regional laws. I imagine most people just apply for a renewal online and pay the fee. But, I recall the one time I was a couple days past the deadline. This meant re-taking the written test. It was a good idea. I had definitely forgotten a lot of the specifics. A little back to school isn’t such a bad idea. Good thing I had studied before the exam so I could ace it.
Hey so, you know how the global pandemic is devastating our lives and our economy? Seeing 2020 vision is now akin to watching cruel snarling flames lick the less than savory sides of a large rusty dumpster constantly fed with new cringing moments of putrid sustenance to burn on and on and on. What if we as a nation took the next few months off from work, from school, from retirement, from each other and enrolled in a new life school/workshop? Just sort of a buckle down at home*, listen to some lectures, absorb new lessons and have the government pay us to do so type of thing. We just stop, drop everything, and enroll. Course credits earned Pass/Fail. Course load: Choose any five of the following classes:
Greater Transparency: How to take the honest and clear approach for more efficient communication. Final exam will be writing a letter as a local business delineating the operation and dangers of your products. Taught by Barack Obama.
Re-evaluation 201: Taking a critical double-take inward, learning to unlearn insensitive norms. There will be lots of role playing. Taught by Ibram X. Kendi.
Know Your Rights: Learn how to handle yourself in a protest, how to talk to police, etc. Taught by Mick Jones and Alicia Garza.
Know your own Impact: Realizing the greater range of cause and effect towards more than just ourselves. Taught by any woman not named Karen but ideally Megan Rapinoe.
Appreciate but don’t Appropriate: How to recognize the difference and not steal from other cultures. Taught by a BIPOC chef.
New Vocabulary: What’s in and out for our social dictionary in 2020? Special focus on pronouns. Taught by someone younger than 40, maybe even 30.
Silent Spring: Independent study read of Rachel Carson’s classic. Final exam is to write a haiku.
How to Care About Others: Perhaps unteachable but then again, maybe we just need some love and a class on baking pies. Taught by a Pastry Chef.
Sherry 101: Debunk myths of all sherry only being a sweet cooking wine and learn to appreciate the savory elements of one the world’s greatest wine regions. Taught by me. I need to pay rent.
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buses artfully carved by Kristen Bartholomew & Anna Cleofe
*like we should be doing anyway