Chantal Tseng

Chantal Tseng

by Chantal Tseng

The Lady of Shalott and the Crystal Spider

My Agatha Christie Sherry Book Club just finished our last session discussing “The Mirror Crack’d from Side to Side,” whose title is borrowed from Tennyson’s “The Lady of Shalott” poem. And for some odd reason, I found myself abstractly thinking about the crystal spider scene from the film “Krull” (1983). Odd indeed. And now I conjure this post in attempts to sort out this mystery of queer inspiration. 

When Christie first began writing her Miss Marple series, (1930) her brilliant down-to-earth character hardly graced the pages until often midway through the novel. As the titles progress, we start to see Jane Marple earlier and more often. By the time we get to “4:50 From Paddington,” (1957) and “The Mirror Crack’d From Side to Side,” (1962) she is all over the stories, clearly occupying a much more prominent space than just showing up with the clever answers. In nearly all of the stories, I think it is fair to say there is typically a character who doubts her abilities or writes her off as one of many old biddies with heads full of nonsense. There is a key trope about old ladies losing their ability to think properly and perhaps go on and on about provincial tangents. The first victim of the latter book, Heather, in many ways, is on her way to such a characterization before she gets killed. She is described as the kindly type who will perhaps talk your ear off while not properly acknowledging her unimpressed audience because it simply gives her too much joy to keep going. Or more specifically, as someone who likes to make a gift of seed cake to her neighbors while never bothering to discover who may or may not like seed cake and simply not taking no for an answer. Basically pushy, yet very nice. 

All in all, I theorize here that perhaps Christie was simply acknowledging the possibility that her readers might be more interested in page time dedicated to the actual mystery than more interaction with the elder ladies of interest. But after several novels, perhaps she realized her audience was truly invested in hearing more about Miss Jane Marple.

In these last two aforementioned books, there is a stronger emphasis on Marple acknowledging her own aging. She makes mention of losing her former keen eyesight, having issues with gardening, bending down and such as well as frequently dropping stitches in her knitting. Her often mentioned nephew has even enlisted the services of a condescending (yet kind) live-in woman to take care of her. And yet her wily mind continues to triumph almost as proof that her brain and sharply webbed thinking is just as keen as ever.

In stark contrast to the savvy yet humble Marple, the aging starlet Marina Gregg is at the center of the plot. She is a five times wedded Hollywood leading lady who is amidst a comeback following a breakdown of sorts, when it seems she is the target of murder. Her instability in dealing with stress and particular personal interactions adds to the notion that she has lost her mojo. The surprise arrival of a much younger rival actress further adds to her perceived struggles and also triggers for me that one scene with the Widow of the Web in “Krull.”

Lyssa Widow of the Web : These are the sands of my life. Accept them and the spider will have no power to harm you. But your own life runs out with the sand.

Ynyr : But what about your life?

Lyssa Widow of the Web : I give it to the girl who bears my name.

The trick here is that ancient Lyssa gives away her precious sands of time thereby sacrificing herself to the crystal spider and damning her long absent old lover who abandoned her big-time in the past. All this to help the dashing boyish hero out of his predicament with the megalomaniac beast in the moving castle who holds the young fire princess captive. Naturally, the spider woman magically gets to be young and beautiful again before her imminent death since she was clearly only waiting around by her lonesome all those years for her lover to return. I mean what else is there to do? Seems like a very Arthurian move if you ask me and well…Tennyson.

“She knows not what the curse may be;

Therefore she weaveth steadily,

Therefore no other care hath she,

    The Lady of Shalott.”

John William Waterhouse, “The Lady of Shalott,” 1888

Christie alludes in “The Mirror Crack’d From Side to Side” to a particular set of lines out of Tennyson’s same poem. And yet I can’t help but find so many more lines from it that keep pulling me back to Krull. It may be about the work of weaving and the cracking crystal that is the key here. Or perhaps it’s the fallen female surrounded by a sea of noble men, whether she be a cursed virgin enchanted by Lancelot, a sorceress-spider-lady with a dream of vengeance, a fire princess who apparently has no ability to wield her own power without her prince, or a highly unstable multiple divorcee balancing a flair for the dramatic whilst struggling with inner demons. In the mystery, Marina Gregg is seen to have suddenly frozen atop a stairwell with a look of shock and subtle doom that is described as akin to the last few lines of the following passage:

“He flash’d into the crystal mirror,

‘Tirra lirra, tirra lirra:’

    Sang Sir Lancelot.

She left the web, she left the loom

She made three paces thro’ the room

She saw the water-flower bloom,

She saw the helmet and the plume,

    She look’d down to Camelot.

Out flew the web and floated wide;

The mirror crack’d from side to side;

‘The curse is come upon me,’ cried

    The Lady of Shalott.”

And of course the answer to all lies in that very look. There are a few movie adaptations and I have to say that so far I think Lindsay Duncan does that pivotal look the best. But I can’t help imagine Francesca Annis, the actress who played the Widow of the Web and also Lady Jessica in Dune (1984) would also have killed it. I have always been mesmerized by her. But of course, I do love my sci-fi.

Left is from Dune. Right is the old to young sequence of the Widow of the Web in Krull.

Miss Jane Marple, I’m so glad that Christie decided you needed more page time and dialogue. I’m so glad we got to hear your thoughts on more than just murder but also on the passage of time and the changing of the world. Few aging women seem to fare as well as thee on the page or on the screen.

And now on to a completely different spider!

“It used to be said that spiders could connect the past with the future. Something about the symbolism of the web.” (P.111) – “Miles Morales: Spider-Man” by Jason Reynolds
2 oz. Fino Inocente Sherry, .5 oz. Reposado Tequila, .5 oz. Otto’s Vermouth, 2 dashes orange bitters, 2 dashes Peychaud’s bitters, orange peel web crafted by Kristen Bartholomew
by Chantal Tseng

Grief in 20/20

“The mind is not a book to be opened at will and examined at leisure.” – Severus Snape

I’ve been trying to remember my aunt who just recently passed away battling colon cancer* which had also spread to her kidneys. Specifically, I’ve been trying to relive some good memories of her. But then, memories don’t often sort themselves as such so neatly. If you dig up one, you tend to let loose several, a large swath that may or may not be exactly navigable. The slightest association can take off and send you to places you hadn’t planned on. This is good, I suppose. I think my mind is just trying to see the whole picture of her. I reckon it’s not really fair to only conjure one or two specific memories. Better to just let it all wash back over you. Maybe this is a new way to learn, akin to the now oft spoken phrase referred to as “hindsight or 20/20.” Hard to learn something from someone if you nitpick out your own moments. 

All in all, as a kid, my aunt always seemed kind of mean. I used to think that all Taiwanese women were mean because I really only knew one growing up. Only a child would extrapolate this negative all-encompassing assumption. Imagine Professor Snape. He really came off like a villain in the beginning, and really for most of the plot. He was often callous and judgmental to his students and we never got much of his backstory until the end. But at this storied end of the whole epic ordeal, he turns out to be just a tough-love, deep undercover, misunderstood tragic-type of person. Highly uncomfortable with showing vulnerability. After all, he had been living his entire life as one volatile tricky situation that most people around him could not possibly relate to or understand. If the only option of interaction from another is pity, perhaps it might be best not to offer the option at all.

When someone acts disagreeable to us as a kid, we only feel the black and white dark entanglement of unfairness in the situation. But as an adult, we have learnt the capacity to look back and see a larger picture of one’s character. We don’t always understand it but we notice that the portrait is much more intricate. Perhaps like the opposite of returning to one’s childhood home and thinking everything seems so much smaller than before.

At any rate, I’d like to share my favorite memory of my Aunt Lucia. It was my very first roller coaster ride. I was pretty excited. My older sister opted out, a bit suspect of the whole experience. My younger brother wanted in, but alas, he was just under the height regulation. So it just ended up being my cousin, my aunt and myself. The first drop was extremely scary, stomach drop and all. My cousin and aunt started screaming, and like everyone else, they never stopped until the end. I definitely felt like I might die in that first drop. It was intense. I never uttered a peep though. Not at all throughout the entire ride either. By the end, I was enthralled by the experience and already looking forward to the next ride. Then my aunt came over to me and looked me straight in the eyes. She said something like “Why weren’t you screaming?” and was half laughing, part in shock with part disappointment that I never made a sound. (I can be pretty internal.) I had never seen so many expressions co-existing on her face before. It was such a wide range of emotion and yet such a happy moment. I had not realized this was my favorite memory of her until she passed two Sundays ago. I am not even sure of the last time I saw my aunt in person. My last communications with her were mostly via my cousin and a few get well cards. The past few years though, I can attest, she was no longer a mean Taiwanese lady in my head. She was supportive and wondered what I was up to in my distant endeavors. My cousin says she still had a lot of fight till the end.

“Telling a story wasn’t as simple as recalling memories. It was building on them and deciding which parts were best left unsaid.” – (P.44) “A Woman is No Man” by Etaf Rum : Dark Rum, Rouge Vermouth, Oloroso, Absinthe, aromatic bitters, preserved cherries and orange peel

I wonder now if all the best memories make you feel a bizarre assortment of happy, sad, confused and alive.

*I’m also pretty sad about the recent passing of Chadwick Boseman who as it turns out, struggled with the same terminal illness.

by Chantal Tseng

Paranoid Android

“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.”

― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

My friend and I are both celebrating our upcoming birthdays in honor of that very special year, resonating to the ultimate answer to life, the universe and everything. And really, 2020 seems like such an appropriate year to have really dug into one’s own life introspectively and perhaps come up with something life shattering or at the very least, mildly remarkable. But I suppose life can seem like a lot of things. Just when you’ve got a grip on some sort of new idea or realization, it slips out from under you like a psychotic magic carpet with a mischievous edge.

Things change. Sometimes very suddenly. Take for example, one possible interpretation in the metaphor of the whale and the bowl of petunias. After engaging the infinite improbability drive, two deadly missiles spontaneously metamorph into the former and fall towards the planet helplessly, atmosphere and life streaking past their new found existence. The whale lives the briefest of moments becoming quickly enchanted by life before it abruptly dies, having learned too little. The petunias, on the other hand, appear to be conscious of a loop of some sort, having done this kind of thing before, perhaps many times before, and therefore knows its dreaded fate suggesting a greater consciousness of historical being, far more wisdom and therefore greater unhappiness. It is a recurring theme in the series: the less you know the happier your life. Take Marvin the Paranoid Android who has a brain the size of a planet. Chronically depressed but very likely to have in fact, known the ultimate question to the ultimate answer the entire time. But you know, no one asked him.

“I talked to the computer at great length and explained my view of the Universe to it,” said Marvin. “And what happened?” pressed Ford. “It committed suicide,” said Marvin.”

― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

This Pandemic and quarantine life combined with my recent binge of the Murderbot Diaries Series has really gotten me hating people. Don’t get me wrong. Not ALL the people. Anyway, I love Murderbot who is also a Paranoid Android. I feel seen, (as my friend Rachel would say.) MBot is a bit adjacent to Marvin. Not planet-sized brain intelligent, but highly trained in security, brilliant in hacking, data collecting, extrapolating, and is far more dexterous. Mbot hacked it’s own governor’s module to gain free will, keeps this on the down low as much as possible, goes undercover, and is addicted to serials (basically Netflix.) MBot is also on a path to gaining a better understanding of what it means to be human, mostly as a means to better understand its relation to its favorite humans. Overall, MB is extremely self-aware, paranoid and often very opinionated. Meanwhile, the villains in the books are all humans motivated by greed and power, and treat life as trivial or disposable. Imagine a really really evil Zaphod Beeblebrox.

“What are you after?”

…

“Well,” said Zaphod airily, “It’s partly the curiosity, partly a sense of adventure, but mostly I think it’s the fame and the money….”

― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

The entanglement between enlightenment and dark knowing, I feel, is at the root of the ultimate question. What does it mean to care about others? What does it mean to know that the more you stuff-into-your brain, the less you have capacity-wise to care about others? The universe is far too prodigious and unknowing for human comprehension. The more you know,* the less you can relate to your physical being. The less you feel connected to your person, the more alien/robot you are to others. So with that floating apprehensively in mind, I’m taking a stab at a few questions.

(insert knuckle cracking and neck stretching)

  1. How many years can some people exist before they’re allowed to be free?
  2. How many seas must a white dove sail before she/he/they sleeps in the sand?
  3. How many times can a human turn their head and pretend that he/she/they just doesn’t see?
  4. How many ears must one human have before they can hear people cry?

The answer to all, naturally, is 42, but the true answer is…**

…

…

…

“For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.”

― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

My vintage stab at the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster: 1 oz. Ford’s Gin, 1 oz. Barbadillo Manzanilla Sherry, .5 oz. Green Chartreuse, .5 oz. fresh lemon, .25 oz. fresh ginger & crystallized ginger

* Yes, this is quite the opposite to the lovely sentiments of the Reading Rainbow. Sorry.

** “Blowin’ in the Wind,” written by Bob Dylan

by Chantal Tseng

An Adonis Lost in a Bamboo Grove

There is a story in the Arabian Nights called “The History of Camaralzaman, Prince of the Isle of the Children of Khaledan and of Badoura, Princess of China.”

The general premise is quite vain. A prince, who is a really good looking Adonis-type rejects the idea of marriage which frustrates his father, King Schahzaman. Far far and away in China, there is a beautiful princess who is basically in the same situation. Two separate magical entities, a fairy and a genie, each spy on both royals and become competitive about whose find is more beautiful. So one night, they magically whisk the unconscious princess into the room of the prince while sleeping so they can evaluate their beauty side by side. Unconvinced of a winner, they wake each one alternately so that they can study the reaction of their specimens to each other. The idea here is that whoever falls more passionately in love at sight of the other will help determine their case. They both express similar levels of impassioned love at first sight upon seeing the sleeping other. The judgment ends undecided and the genie returns the princess to her bed in China and the magical beings exit the story completely. In the mornings after, for each royal, they mutually endure love sickness for want of the other who no one in their respective kingdoms believes exists, which quite possibly might be one of the earliest examples of gaslighting in literature. A long road adventure to find one another ensues and they unite and marry in China. The main hiccup occurs later when the prince, who makes very stupid decisions, wanders off and gets hopelessly lost chasing a bird in search of a precious talisman he sort of stole from Badoura while she slept. Abandoned and in the forest, she disguises herself as Camaralzaman and continues their journey with the hope of finding him. Along the way, she manages to get married to a neighboring princess, a diplomatic move that bodes well for future endeavors. She eventually recruits her new wife into her secretive schemes of finding her husband. Meanwhile, Camaralzaman makes more poor decisions and ends up being taken care of by a kind old gardener. They only reunite when she saves the day. He on the other hand, happens to miss the boat that sails once a year.

Illustration of Camaralzaman and Badoura by Charles Folkard , 1917

My main takeaways:

  1. The two incredibly self-absorbed royals only fall in love with each other because they are near mirror images of one another.
  2. The beautiful prince is all looks and no brains.
  3. The beautiful princess, however, is full of brains and her schemes help rescue their relationship.

Hard not to channel Romeo and Juliet with the opener, “Two houses both alike in dignity,” as well as Viola’s gender swapping schemes from the Twelfth Night. Pretty sure Shakespeare was inspired greatly by many of these tales. Speaking of the Bard, and specifically of his well known taste for Sherry, let us discuss the Adonis and the Bamboo Cocktails.

These two iconic sherry cocktails, originating from the late 1800’s, have both often been re-imagined as interchangeable depending on the bartender and the cocktail book over the past century and a half. There are specific stories associated with each and yet, the identity intermingling has persisted. I personally and professionally learned these drinks as akin to the differences between a Dry Martini and a Manhattan. The Bamboo is akin to the Dry Martini with a crisp dry base of Fino and complemented by Dry Vermouth, Orange bitters and a lemon peel. The Adonis is akin to a Manhattan with a richer yet still dry base of Amontillado or Oloroso, complemented by Sweet Vermouth, Aromatic bitters and an orange peel. I typically make both of these recipes with a 2:1 ratio of Sherry to Vermouth. I think I also base this on my experience visiting cocktail bars in Tokyo. Tio Pepe was the standard in a Bamboo but the Adonis had more variance with the use of a rinse of PX or Oloroso, or the base of an Amontillado.

The main confusion for these discrepancies in recipe listings stems from the very frustrating way that nearly all recipe guides historically listed sherry. They would list only “sherry” rather than specifying if it were a Fino, Amontillado, Oloroso or something sweeter. Once in a while, there will be a specification for a Pale Dry Sherry, which is likely a Fino or Manzanilla in reference, although I haven’t seen that in listings for the Bamboo or Adonis. In some guides, there would be some comments in the back pages when discussing wine details. On the topic of sherry, often little to no detail except the origin of the wine being from Jerez, Spain is given. In William H. Boothby’s “World Drinks and How to Mix Them,” (1934) which mentions many sherry recipes and variants, he makes a point of suggesting the use of Amontillado, Oloroso, Amoroso and Montilla in the back pages, although he never specifies which he uses in specific recipes. In C.F. Lawlor’s “The Mixicologist,” (1895) he explains “There are several different varieties of sherry, which may be divided into the Amontillado and Manzanilla classes. The Amontillado class may again be divided into fino and oloroso, the former being the more delicate.” If you find this extremely confusing, you’re not alone. My takeaway is that I believe Amontillado to have played a larger role in the assumption of sherry in a recipe. I am a bit biased, of course. The very first cocktail I had with sherry in it was the Adonis and it had Lustau “Los Arcos” Amontillado as the base. It was life-alteringly delicious and I use the same recipe to convert non-sherry drinkers into the fold all the time. The other takeaway is that Fino is delicate, which generally means it does not hold its own acting as a base if its modifier is much heavier. I’ve seen recommendations for an Adonis to be made with Fino and the full bodied Carpano Antica Formula Sweet Vermouth which does not equate well to my sense of balance. Even the fuller bodied Valdespino Fino Inocente gets buried in that arrangement.

  • An Adonis variant with a hint of saffron

by Chantal Tseng

Above and Beyond

“The truth is people are an extraordinary mixture of heroism and cowardice.” – Agatha Christie, “4:50 from Paddington”

(I co-host with Loyalty Bookstores, an Agatha Christie Book Club with Sherry and tea. Since the Pandemic, we have taken our club to the Virtual Zoom format. Check my events page to join our next discussion!)

I’m feeling a bit contrarian today. Perhaps I can attribute this to our current climate, one of lies presented as truths, arguments positioned to questionably benefit the privileged, and of course my favorite, the widespread pandemic (not THAT one) of Imposter Syndrome. I never knew the term “gaslighting” until the year before last. It is hard to truly grasp ready realities amidst what seems like the new norm. I imagine the rate of paranoid episodes must be rocketing through the roof. Or perhaps there are no longer any roofs and the paranoid conspiracy theorists are all finally relaxing because THEY aren’t the crazy ones anymore. I grew up hearing about the Golden Rule every other week, the starving children of Ethiopia and how they need our help, the evils of hairspray on our beloved ozone layer, and of course, Batman. How the dark hero is in fact super-powerless but goes out of his way to clean up crime and do the right thing. It would seem there is nothing very Batman about the wealthy and privileged men of today. We were all supposed to be ourselves, or better, be Batman. What happened?

Artwork from Nathaniel Nord

When Bruce Wayne was just a kid, he witnessed the brutal murder of his parents and could do nothing. He personified the intense fear and cowardice of a child in an impossible situation. That trauma seeded itself deep and led to his adult ventures of extreme heroism. Also, there were bats in a cave.

I love comics. There is something visceral in graphic novel art and dialogue that leaps from the page straight into one’s brain. They are the ultimate in page-turner fictions.

In “4:50 From Paddington,” there is a character, Dr. Quimper, whose name drilled a hole into my head for the entirety of this past week. His character is the origin of the quote above. I eventually placed his name to be the same as the evil dwarf mind-controlling entity from “The Invisibles” by Grant Morrison. It has been a long while since I thought of this series. I recall it being a whole LOT out there, above and beyond you might say, albeit from an unusual angle. The super rich character who finances the Invisibles team,* has a back story of being abducted by aliens at one point. It would seem that this experience is also the only thing that makes him a tolerable person. His name is Mason. I particularly enjoyed his insight in Book 4: “…If it wasn’t for the bats, insects would take over the world.” Lately, it feels like the world is encouraging me to revisit “The Invisibles.” Paranoid conspiracies? Check. Mind altering realities? Check. A badass team of freedom fighters taking on the man & other worldly foes with their mixed LGBTQ / BIPOC selves & allies? Check. Seems appropriate for today. Might even be less out there than it used to be. It might also be horribly dated.

“Sometimes it’s only madness that makes us what we are.”
― Grant Morrison, Batman: Arkham Asylum – A Serious House on Serious Earth

Grant Morrison is more well known for his authorship of some of the very best Batman stories. You know them. The truly dark and mind bending ones. Reading “Arkham Asylum” inspired so much of my young 20’s when I was mildly curious about the fine line of sane and insane. I realize that might sound odd. I like to think my creative impulses run dark and deep but that I’m a genuinely nice person. But seriously, this is why Batman is so awe inspiring. He stood at the edge of the abyss. He has one foot in and out of two incompatible worlds. He owns all of it.

When Christie writes about the insane, she is often very subtle about it. A villain wears the mask of society but has no moral opposition to murdering someone close for money or other selfish endeavors. And then one murder begets another. While I haven’t read all her novels yet, I imagine she never brings in a character like The Joker. The epitome of pure anarchy of self and wealth. I wonder how Miss Marple would equate her dark take on the intricacies of human nature to such a nemesis or how Hercule Poirot would get one step ahead of the brilliant mastermind, R’as al Ghul. **

*Because, real talk, one always need a super wealthy patron to do these sorts of things. I would argue that Spider-man is the exception except look at what they’ve done to his story via Iron-Man.

**Arguably, “The Big Four,” (1927) might very well answer this call of a challenge. I’m not so sure it was a success, however. It had an almost comic super villain and hero vibe that didn’t feel natural. Then again, the first Batman comic didn’t appear until 1939.